The Change
by thesiriuswriter
Summary: When Edward left Bella after her birthday, he could have never foreseen the series of events that would eventually cause Bella's death, but who will be there to save her, just in time.
1. Chapter 1

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Hi Everyone , this story is set at the same time Edward left Bella in New Moon then continues on after he left. Jacob is not in here though.

Hope you enjoy it. Sirius xoxox

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The Change

"Good evening Dr Cullen, welcome back to Forks, how was your trip away?"

"Thank you Angela, the trip was good thanks, but it is good to be back in Forks again" Carlisle smiled kindly kindly at the new young nurse. He knew Angela attended Forks High school when his children Edward, Rosie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice had attended. Thoughts of Edward always brought a torrent of pain in Carlisle's heart. Four years ago, Edward made the painful decision to leave Bella, unfortunately it meant we had to leave as well. He had wanted her to have her own life as if we had never existed. Alice was heart broken and then when Edward forbade her to look into Bella's future it was like a part of Alice died, if a vampire could die any more than they were already. She screamed such hurtful things to Edward that even Jasper's calming influence couldn't help. It wasn't until Jasper collapsed on the floor did Alice stop and then she only stared at Jasper's figure laying on the ground. Edward watched as Esme and I lifted Jasper onto the lounge but he just stood there, he didn't move a muscle to see if his brother was OK. Rosie and Emmett had just returned from hunting and took in the site in front of them.

_What did you do Edward_ Rosie's thoughts screamed through his mind, Edward flinched but then composed his staunch stance.

"We're leaving Forks, there's nothing here for us anymore"

"What are you freaking talking about Edward, have you lost your mind" Emmett was trying to help Alice of the floor and also see what had happened to Jasper. All the while Esme held Jasper's head in her lap trying to clam him down. He felt guilty since he realised this was all his fault. If he hadn't tried to attack Bella at her birthday when she fell and cut her arm, Edward wouldn't be leaving her and all this fighting wouldn't be happening. If Jasper was still human he would be having an anxiety attack right about now.

"Edward what is going on, why are we leaving?" Rosie tried to keep her composure but you could tell she was only just reining in her emotions.

"I said we are going Rose, don't argue, you didn't even like her anyway" Edward looked out the window, probably so no one could see the emotions that played across his face.

"No I won't go and you can't make me go" Rosie stood with her arms folded across her chest, just daring Edward to challenge her.

"YES WE ARE" Edward screamed through the air which made Esme, Alice and Jasper jump.

Edward had lost his patience by now and Rosie was pushing her luck. Emmett sat on the floor nursing Alice in his huge arms. Edward and Rosalie continued to scream at each other and when they started to take on their defense positions, Esme spoke up.

"Rose, Edward Stop" Esme's calming voice echoed through out the house. Everyone turned to look at her although it took Rosie a bit longer to calm down and get out of her attack position.

"We are family, we don't fight like this and we stick together, whether we like it or not" Esme looked at Edward's face when she said the last part.

"No Mum this is Not Fair, it's always about him, He endangered us when he saved Bella from the car accident, he endangered her by letting her be a part of this family, letting her know everything she had guessed about us was true. He endangered us when he let us love her like a part of our family and now he leaves her and expects us all to follow. You are so selfish Edward" Rose had started to run out of steam and turned to see Emmett had walked up behind her and circled his enormous arms around her waist. She turned in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Edward was still reeling from Rosie's speech, he didn't realise everyone had grown to love her so much, but no one could love her as much as he did, and this was what was for the best. She was never safe with him and his kind, she needed to live her own life and forget that we existed. His resolve was strengthening, he knew he couldn't go back on his word. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her crying and running through the forest looking for him, it broke his non beating heart over and over again. What amazed him even more was that she just believed him, no argument, not nothing, she just believed that he didn't love her. That killed him more than anything because he knew that if she truly believed that he didn't love her, then she would get on with her life and live.... without him.

It didn't take long to relocate. I had been receiving offers from hospitals all over the world. We chose to go to Alaska, one for the weather and two because it wasn't so far that Alice could still be in short flying distance to get to Bella and Rosie was happy with that choice too. It also wasn't close enough for Edward to be suspicious either. Not that it mattered since Edward only stayed for a year then announced he was leaving and didn't know if he would be back. He called from time to time to let Esme know he is OK, even though she knows he is stubborn she still waits for him to ring and say I am coming home. I knew Esme and the kids weren't happy here and one night we were having a family meeting, and Rosie asked why we had to stay away any longer, Edward was gone and had been for nearly three years, Rosie and Emmett had an opportunity to open a mechanic workshop, which coincidentally was in Forks and Alice wanted to try her hand at running a clothing shop. The look on the kids faces was priceless when I told them Forked Hospital had been left without a doctor and they called and offered me the position. We packed and moved within a week, a record for even us.

"Sorry Dr Cullen, are you OK?" Angela had been waffling off the patients conditions to me while I was lost in thought.

"Yes Angela I apologise, just some memories coming to the surface"

"Well I hate to have to be the bearer of bad news but our last patient here is someone you know.."

"Really, who is it?"

"Ummm, It's Bella Swan sir" Angela's head hung low and the pain in her voice was evident. At first I just stared at Angela, I wouldn't have thought anything of it except for the sound of her voice.

"What happened Angela" I tried not to panic, knowing how clumsy Bella was it was probably another fall.

"We had better go in Dr" Angela led the way to a small single room at the end of the hall. We entered and the sight in front me even made me gasp. Bella was almost unrecognisable. She was painfully thin, she looked like a skeleton that had a layer of skin over it, her skin was white, deathly white. If I hadn't seen the drip infusing her arm I would have thought she was already a vampire. I walked closer and touched her arm, I turned it over and saw scars all along her arm, I checked the other one and saw the same thing there. She had scars everywhere, she looked like she had just battled a mountain lion.

"What happened Angela?" I was momentarily stunned by the sight in front me, I recovered and my medical practice took over. I checked her vitals and read her chart. Angela still hadn't answered my question so I turned to look at her. She was silently crying.

"Angela?"

"Oh Dr Cullen, I am sorry I really don't know how to tell you or whether I even should" Angela walked over to Bella's side and started to carefully stroke Bella's hair.

"Angela, please understand I can't help her unless I know what happened, who even did this to her?" Angela's eyes shot up to me and she whispered so quietly that if I wasn't a vampire I wouldn't have heard her.

"She did, Sir, she did" Angela quickly and roughly dried her cheeks from the falling tears.

"Dr Cullen, I will tell you what happened because I know you are probably the only one in the world who can save her now" I looked at Angela and wondered what on earth she could be talking about.

Angela then spent the next two hours filling me in on Bella's past four years. Everything from how she 'coped' or should I say not coped with Edward leaving, and then her parents death. She became destructive and her only will was to die. The reason she was here in hospital this time was because she had jumped off a cliff at La Push Beach. This time she nearly did it, she nearly got her wish but one of the local boys saw her jump and he dived out to the water to get her out. He was only young and not very strong against the waters current but he managed to succeed only to collapsed from exhaustion once he reached the shore. Another couple walking by saw the two of them laying in the sand and called the police. She had been in the hospital for three weeks as the doctor who initially saw her thought an induced coma would help her recover, but now she didn't seem to want to come out of the coma at all.

"Dr Cullen, is it possible for someone to die from a broken heart?" Angela's eyes were swimming with tears and for once in my life I couldn't answer her. After my silence had stretched on, Angela turned to look at me.

"I thought so"

Angela left and went home since her duty had finished hours ago. I was left there with Bella and couldn't believe how one decision could affect someone so badly. I was furious with Edward but also felt for him, he would never have thought this would happen to his Bella, this will destroy him. After my shift finished I drove home slowly, just wondering how on earth I was going to tell my family what had happened. I drove up the driveway and sat in my car but knowing I could not put it off any longer, I walked into the house to see the family sitting at the table. Obviously Alice had told them I needed to talk to them. Esme's face was full of concern and once she saw my face she was even more worried. I fell into the chair at the head of the table. I felt Jasper's calming influence over us and I looked at him,

"Jasper you might need to keep that feeling going because what I have to say will be upsetting for everyone" Jasper nodded once and Esme reached over and took my hand.

"OK everyone, as you know I started work at Forks Hospital today and I have some very disturbing news about Bella"

"What happened, I can't see her, I haven't been able to see her for so long, what has happened" Alice was frantic, apparently she hadn't heeded Edward's warning and had been checking on Bella. He had to ask her later what she already knew. Jasper directed his power to her and she immediately calmed.

"OK Listen to me, this is extremely hard to talk through so I would appreciate only having to go through it once. Can you all ask me questions at the end and I will do my best to answer them as best as I can" There were nods all around the table.

"OK you all know when we left, well Bella didn't cope with it at all, apparently she looked for Edward in the forest until she collapsed from exhaustion and hunger. By this time Charlie had already sent out a crew to search for her as she had been missing for twelve hours. They found her, and after a few days in this hospital she was ok to go home. Needless to say, Charlie was over protective then. Her friend Angela said he was always on her case about getting over Edward. Bella just couldn't get over him. Well as they say bad luck breeds bad luck, four months later Bella's mum and step dad were killed in a plane crash coming back from Jacksonville, the entire team were killed along with the pilot. Bella and Charlie went to the funeral and half way through she collapsed again. She spent quite a few more days in hospital that time but when she promised to look after herself for Charlie, he gave in and let her come home. She actually did improve on the surface, she started trying hard at school again, she went out to the movies with some friends and on the surface it looked like she was actually getting back on track. Well not all was as good as it seemed, our beautiful Bella started getting destructive."

Esme was openly sobbing by now and I could see Rose's face had gone from anger to such deep sadness, it was horrible. Emmett's head was hung low and he was holding Rose's hand and Alice's hand with his other hand. Alice was leaning into Jasper while he held her. The support they were giving each other was wonderful to see. Esme was also holding Jasper hand and mine with the other one.

"What do you mean destructive Dad?" Alice's face held so much pain it was hard to look at her.

"Charlie is good friends with the La Push Indians, the Quiletes, so he started taking Bella down there to socialise with the wolves so to speak"

"That's why I haven't been able to see her, she has been with them" Alice spoke up

"You're probably right Alice, well these boys are into daring sports and such, they have too much time on their hands, and our Bella decided to join in"

"Join in what Carlisle?" Esme's eyes were almost bulging.

"The boys down there have motor bikes and they play dangerous games, Bella was only watching at first but then decided she wanted to feel again, and well adrenaline is a drug" I got up to walk over to the large open window only because I couldn't look my family in the eye.

"She only started out riding on the dirt at first, the first day she fell off and hurt her arm and for some ridiculous reason she marveled at how her blood trickled down it. That was the beginning, she started doing more and more dangerous tricks until she almost broke her spine"

"What on earth did Charlie do about all of this?" Esme was angry now

"Well apparently Bella sweet talked her way out of it, saying that an animal ran out in front of her and she skidded into a tree. He didn't want her to leave her friends down at La Push because he hadn't seen her so happy in such a long time. Charlie relented and let her continue seeing the boys down there. Apparently she was doing 90 miles an hour in the rain without a helmet or any protection. It was amazing the bike even managed to get to that speed. Anyway she continued riding and decided to try bush riding, a couple of trees later she comes out with another broken arm. This time Charlie put his foot down and took the bike off her."

"First descent thing he did" Rose was shaking her head.

"Unfortunately it gets worse Rose, about a year ago, Charlie was attending a break in down at the wharf and the two robbers pulled a gun on him, one panicked and shot him in the chest, he made it to the hospital and when Bella had arrived he said his goodbye and passed away." If we could cry a mountain of tears they would have started flowing by now, I am sure Esme, Rose and Alice would have. Jasper looked like he was struggling with keeping the calm in the room.

"Apparently at the funeral, as Charlie's coffin was being lowered, Bella screamed out for Edward and then collapsed." Esme's shock was evident in her voice and she turned into Jasper's shoulder and sobbed. I walked back over to my wife and held her tight. Each of the girls had to be consoled by their husbands. It was horrible to be going through this knowing someone we all loved so much had been suffering and we weren't there to help her.

"When did that happen, is that why she is still in hospital?" Emmett was the only one who could voice what everyone was thinking.

"No actually, after the funeral, Angela's family helped her settle the estate. Charlie had left her enough money and the house was paid off so she was set. She never did attend University as she stayed with Charlie since Renee's death had come at the beginning of semester. She got a job at Newtons store and then stayed there full time. One day her truck wouldn't start and Mike Newton took her into Seattle to buy a new car, she chose a small, very fast shiny, silver, car. She had no one to tell her it was too dangerous now. She drove around like a lunatic and then one night she saw someone in Seattle who looked like Edward, this man was with his wife and kids and she completely lost it" I paused so I could tell them the rest of the horrible life that was Bella Swan's.

"She drove home and apparently the police said she must have been traveling at over a 100 miles an hour as the car was completely ridden off when she wrapped it around a tree ... out the front of our house" Esme screamed out a mangled NO and hid her face in her hands, Rosie stood so fast that her chair smashed through the glass door behind her.

"I will kill Edward myself" Rose was panting, she was so angry

"Rose sweetheart, Edward would have never in a million years thought this would happen to her, think about it, Edward will be devastated when he hears all of this, he will blame himself forever"

"Good so he should" Rose was still angry but she knew her father was right.

"Rose please, he is still your brother no matter what" Esme was still crying and Alice looked like she was frozen in time, she wasn't having a vision, she was just trying to process all this information.

"Anyway by some miracle Bella lived through the car accident but was in hospital for three months in a body cast. To answer your question Emmett, the reason she is in hospital now is that after she recovered from the car accident she jumped off a cliff" I knew the girls would react badly but Emmett completely lost it

"Is she dead Carlisle?, Is that what you are trying to tell us?" Emmett was so distressed that I couldn't keep him waiting

"Emmett, No she is not dead but she is dying, a bit more everyday and now she is on life support. She is in a coma which was self induced at the beginning but now for some reason her mind won't let her come out of it,"

"Of course not Carlisle, she wants to die" even though Jasper spoke so softly it still stunned everyone into silence.

"I know Jasper, but what do I do?"

"I think you know what to do, you just want our permission" Jasper looked at me and then with his eyes I knew exactly what he wanted me to do, I looked at Rose and Emmett and both of them nodded. I turned to look at Alice and then I saw a smile on her face, probably the first real smile I had seen in years. She also nodded, then I looked at Esme and she smiled her beautiful smile. I knew she loved Bella as her own daughter and it had killed her to leave Bella when we did, so I knew I would have no objection from her.

"Are you all sure, this is something we have to do as a family?" I already knew the answer but I wanted to give everyone time to really think about it. There were nods all around the table.

It was time to 'save' Bella Swan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

(Carlisle POV)

We all sat in silence, contemplating our next step. Esme was the first one to speak up.

"Just one question Carlisle, where does she live, is anyone going to miss her?" Esme was thinking clearly thank goodness.

"I will have to find out Esme, I know she sold her father's house when he died because she couldn't live there alone, but since then, from Angela has told me, I think she has been staying on the reserve. She has been more alone lately than ever. Her friend's, Jacob and the others, all have partners and they spend all their time with their girlfriends so Bella is alone, again. I think that's why she went to the cliffs at La Push and jumped, it must have been the final straw for her."

"OK I don't really want to be the one to bring it up but what is going to happen when Edward comes back" Emmett tried not to look at his wife while he said this but it really needed to be said

"Emmett, you are right to bring this up, Edward plays a huge part in this as well, but what do I do, Bella is dying more everyday, her heart is so weak it will be a miracle if she lasts the next week, let alone once the venom is in her body. We all know the choice Bella made before we left, she always wanted this"

"She wanted Edward Carlisle, and look where that got her and really I don't care what Edward says, I will not sit by and watch her die for no reason at all." Rose was trying not to be judgemental but it was true.

"OK my family this needs to be a unanimous vote, I will not do it unless we all agree 100%"

"Yes I agree" Esme was first

"Me too Carlisle, I need Bella in my life" Alice was next, Jasper nodded too " I agree"

"Both of us agree too we have to do this, we can't see her die" Emmett and Rose had stood together.

"Ok its settled I will bring Bella home on the weekend and we will start the transformation"

"Why not now Carlisle, why wait?" Esme was getting impatient

"Esme my darling, it is only three days, it will give me time to stock enough morphine and also to see where she lives and tie up any loose ends, she still has friends here in Forkes, it was her friend Angela who told me how her life has panned out. I need to work all of this so its a clean break"

The next three days were pure hell, it was easier to tie up Bella's loose ends than I thought it would be, but the waiting was killing everyone. The story we stuck too was that since we were the closest to family Bella had, we moved her to our home so we could all look after her. Once she changed, we knew it would be about a year before she could see anyone and by then most people would have moved on. It was sad to see that most people wouldn't really miss having our beautiful Bella in their lives.

Normal POV

The day had come and everything was ready, Alice stayed with Carlisle to help as she was the strongest, Jasper, Esme, Rose and Emmett had gone hunting for the initial change. Bella was prepared and had been given a massive dose of morphine to try to keep most of the pain down. Esme had been worried that since she was still in a coma she may not wake up but Carlisle reassured her it wasn't a problem as she had also been in a coma when she had been changed. Carlisle took one look at Alice and she smiled at him with a nod. He knew the places to bite that would make the transformation quick, he had also read in one of the many tomes he had, that it was quicker if the venom was injected directly into the heart. So the transformation had began. Bella squirmed and reacted the way she was meant too. During one of the harder parts, she screamed for Edward again, that day it was Esme and Carlisle who were watching over her. It broke Esme's heart but she was also glad the other kids weren't here as Rose didn't need any more ammunition against her brother. Esme would read to Bella, she knew her favourite book was Wuthering heights, so each time it was Esme's turn to stay with her she would read. Alice would play Edward's music to her. Once Rosie caught her and a huge fight erupted but eventually Carlisle talked sense into Rose. The music seemed to clam Bella. Emmett would sit with her and tell her all about the next car race he was trying to win on the Xbox. Everyone laughed when they heard Emmett talking to her like she was one of the boys. Jasper would spend time with her and he would also play Edward's music, he could feel her relax instantly when it was on, especially her lullaby he wrote. Carlisle would talk to her about all the changes she could expect to happen to her. On the fourth morning, Esme was becoming frantic as the transformation usually only took three days, no one had ever lingered to four. It was Carlisle's time to sit with her and he approached her bed and kissed her forehead like he always did.

"Bella, I hope you can hear me sweetheart, I hope you understand what has happened here and most importantly I hope you don't hate me. I hate the fact that you were so down that you felt you had to end your life, I just hope with everything that I am that you don't hate me for doing this to you, for changing you into a monster." Carlisle's head was looking out the window that was near her bed, with his hand holding hers.

"I could never hate you, Carlisle" Carlisle's head spun so quickly, it shocked her.

"Bella, sweetie are you OK, how do you feel?" Bella tried to sit up and was surprised she felt so well.

"Actually Carlisle, apart from a bit stiff, I have never felt better than I do now" Bella sat up and heard the rush of feet headed in her direction. She looked over to the door to see the five people she loved so much standing at the door, they had actually collided in their hurry to come to her. Bella let out a laugh and that was the sign to everyone to bombard her with hugs. She noticed Alice's face first, she was even more perfect than she remembered. She missed that little pixie so much and now she was here standing in front of her. She then turned to look at Jasper, and gasped, he had light scarring over his face that she had never seen before. Jasper realised what she had been looking at and turned away in shame.

"Jasper, don't go please" Jasper turned back to look at her, and she opened her arms for a hug. He walked cautiously over to her and sat on the bed in front of her. She leaned into him and he cuddled her.

"Sorry, Jasper, I couldn't see it before"

"It's OK it's a bit of a shock isn't it?" he then leant forward and whispered in her ear, "Not as perfect as the others am I?"

"You are perfect Jasper, it is I who is not perfect and will never be" Jasper shook his head but Bella leant in to cuddle him again. Alice leant out this sob that sounded like a cry and Jasper returned to her to calm her down.

"So little Sis what's it like being one of us?" Emmett was never subtle. Everyone turned to look at him, Carlisle and Esme had a look that said he stepped out of line.

"What!!!" he bellowed and Bella laughed at her 'big brother'

"It's wonderful to be here with you all again"

She tried to answer as many questions as she could but everyone was shooting questions faster than she could answer.

"Where's Edward?" that stopped the noise, actually you could hear the cars down on the road passing by.

"What is it, where is he?" Bella searched all their faces, but came up blank

"Bella we need to talk" Carlisle was trying to avoid this conversation but obviously now it had to be done.

Carlisle asked Bella if she could tell them what she remembered from her human life first.

"Carlisle I think Bella should hunt first before we go into this conversation" Esme was worried but knew this could go over better if she didn't have that burning feeling down her throat.

"Is that why I feel like my throat is on fire?" Bella rubbed her throat and Emmett started laughing.

"Yes little sister, that is exactly why" Emmett put his hand out so he could help her off the bed.

The kids all decided to take Bella hunting while Esme and Carlisle remained behind.

"Ok Little Sis lets see what you can do hey" Emmett was his usual self and so was Jasper but the two girls were a little wary. Once they were up in the mountains, Bella saw a small tiger and she set off on her chase, her movements were agile and quick. She took down the tiger in little over one minute. It was amazing, the boys stood with their mouths hanging open. Rosie took Bella higher up the mountain to get some more lions, she seemed to enjoy them. After a satisfying afternoon they headed back towards home. Everyone spoke to Bella, giving her hints and tips. Alice of course, told her they would be buying new clothes as soon as it was safe for her to leave home. Jasper pulled her aside and they had a private talk, which of course everyone heard.

"Bella I need to apologise to you, I feel this is all my fault, all of the horrible things that happened in your life would never have happened if it wasn't for me" Jasper was as near to a breakdown as he could possibly be. Bella reached forward and hugged him, she also sobbed for her loss but she knew Jasper was not at fault.

"Jaz, I will explain it all but I need to talk to everyone, but please just understand that I have never, ever blamed you nor would I ever. You will always be my brother and I love you" Bella lent forward and hugged him tightly again. Jasper relaxed in her embrace and felt himself clam down considerably. That was odd.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi Everyone, this is Chapter 3 for you. Hope you like it, let me know what you think !!! Thanks to everyone who keeps reading._

_Disclaimer: Not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, just like to play with her toys that's all._

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**Chapter 3**

They walked back to the others and Alice leapt into Bella's arms, Bella would have been able to hold her weight with her new found strength, but she wasn't used to it yet and fell with Alice crashing to the ground. Everyone burst out laughing.

"Bella I love you so much, I missed you beyond anything you could ever imagine. Please forgive me for leaving you, please" Alice looked like she was about to have a heart attack, that's if her heart was actually beating, but Bella knew the grief in her eyes was real. Obviously everyone else had gone through her pain with her. They sat up.

"Alice there's nothing to forgive, I love you more than anything, you will always be my sister" Alice hugged her tightly, for once not afraid that she would break. The five of them ran back to the house. Bella was intrigued with her new body, she enjoyed running so fast. As they came to the top of the hill, Bella smelt something that made her stop instantly. She turned her head to follow the smell, then everything happened at once. Rosie and Emmett caught on to what was happening, they stopped and turned back to stop Bella attacking the humans' walking through the forest. Emmett placed his huge arms around Bella so she wouldn't escape. Alice and Jasper had frozen and were getting ready to intercept her if she made a run for them. Then Alice realised something.

"Oh My God what is that disgusting smell" Bella looked like she had just smelt something that had died and was rotting.

"What do you mean disgusting" Rosie looked to Jasper for confirmation that she was getting ready to run. Jasper looked at Rosie and shrugged his shoulders

"She isn't going to run, are you Bella?" Alice had a huge smile

"Hell yeah, I am getting away from that stench"

"Bella you don't feel the need to hunt that smell down and have it?" Rosie was completely confused, they all couldn't believe what was happening, Bella still hated the smell of human blood.

"No Rose, that is just disgusting, I could not possibly go anywhere near that, isn't that making you all sick?" Bella looked at them like they were crazy, the smell was making her head dizzy and if she didn't get away she was sure she would vomit up all her mountain lion blood.

"Man you are truly amazing little sis," Emmett looked proud and loosened his grip on her body

"You are only 5 hours old and you just turned your nose up at humans blood, are you amazing or what?" Emmett was punching his fists in the air, like he had won the lottery.

The five of them headed away from the human smell and went back to tell Carlisle and Esme what had just happened.

To say Carlisle was surprised was an understatement, he stood there with his mouth open in the most undignified way as possible. Esme slapped his arm to snap him out of it.

"Are you sure it was humans you smelt?"  
"Come on Carlisle we know human blood when we smell it" Rosie looked horrified that he would think they didn't know what they were talking about. Carlisle shook his head and decided to tackle that piece of information later, there were more pressing issues.

"OK Bella can you tell us how you feel?" Everyone was sitting comfortably in the lounge with Bella on the lounge in the middle of Emmett and Alice. Rosie sat at her feet and Jasper sat on the opposite chair, just in case he needed to use his ability. Esme and Carlisle sat together on one arm chair and they all settled in for what was a long night. Bella told them all about her life before they saved her, Carlisle laughed nervously at that comment.

"Ok well, as you know Edward decided I was better off without him, I can honestly say he was wrong. I was lost, so lost in fact I couldn't find my way back to the living any more. Charlie tried everything he could to help me but I didn't want help. Then Renee and Phil died and I thought I wouldn't be able to make it ever again. But I had Charlie and I knew I had to go on for him so I started to try harder and each day it seemed to get better. Then something strange happened, I realised that the closer I got to death the more I could feel" Esme choked out a sob and Carlisle held her even tighter, if Bella was still human, the hand that Emmett was holding would have been crushed with the force he was applying but Bella continued,

"feeling something was better than feeling nothing, feeling dead all the time. I started to think that if I got closer to death then Edward might come." Alice gasped at this part, she would definitely commit this conversation to memory so Edward could see it one day.

"Anyway I am sorry to be telling you all of this but I am doing it for one reason, I love you all so much. I have no one left in my life and I prayed that you would come for me Carlisle. I prayed you would find me lost and broken and fix me and you did. You came and answered my prayers and I thank you. I never thought in my wildest dreams that my prayer would be answered. When Edward left he broke my heart, you all know that now, but nothing could compare to the emptiness of losing Edward and all of you as well, it was hell on earth. I love you all very much" Bella stood up and went over to Carlisle and hugged him and Esme so tightly.

She didn't ever want to let go even though she knew she would have to one day. When Edward came back she wouldn't be welcome there, it was his family after all. She just thought she would enjoy it while she had the chance. She had to learn as much as possible in the shortest amount of time as possible. Who knew when Edward would be back.

The rest of the night followed with her talking about Charlie and what happened after he died. She went to live at La Push and stayed in the cabin down there with Billy Black. Then she started driving recklessly and nearly killed herself with her car, but the breaking point had to be the day she saw a man who looked like Edward with his wife and children playing. It showed her that maybe Edward had moved on and she was still stuck four years back. She went down to La push and walked straight up to the highest cliff and yelled out goodbye to Edward and then jumped off. They all talked for hours, luckily they didn't need to sleep because it was already the next day. Everyone talked about their lives once they left and it made Bella feel more comfortable, she was really surprised that Alice had suffered as much as her. She thought since she had Jasper she wouldn't feel as bad, but she did and after plenty of cuddles and lots of sobbing everyone moved forward that night. The following week proceeded along the same lines, hunting talking, hunting and talking.

Carlisle was reading in his office when Bella knocked on the door,

"Come in Bella" She still wasn't used to her new body and the increased senses,

"Carlisle can I have a word with you?" Bella seemed to be nervous and Carlisle was worried what the talk could be about.

"Of course Bella please come in and sit down" Bella walked in and saw Esme sitting on the old leather chair in the sun reading a book, her skin was glowing with a thousand diamond lights, she looked stunning. Esme closed her book and stood to leave,

"NO Esme you can stay too" Bella realised she shouted No but she really wanted Esme to stay.

"OK Bella of course I can stay, what's on your mind sweetheart" Esme said as Carlisle closed his books and pushed his papers aside and leant back in his chair. Bella sat down in the arm chair in front of Carlisle's desk and Esme came and sat on the side next to her.

"What's on your mind Bella, is something wrong?"

"Carlisle, I just wanted to talk to you about when I was going through my change, I heard everything everyone had said, and I loved it when you read to me Esme, thank you. But Carlisle something you said to me has been bothering me all week"

"What is it Bella you know you can tell me anything" Carlisle leant forward and touched her hand.

"You said you hoped I would never hate you for what you did to me" Bella was ringing her hands in her lap, she was very nervous.

"Yes I did say that Bella and please understand that I will never hold anything against you, I know what I did was wrong and you never had a choice. I also understand if you hate me because of it but I love you like my daughter and I couldn't watch you in anymore pain but I understand if you don't feel that way" Carlisle's perfect face hid the excruciating pain he was presently going through.

"No Carlisle no, that's not what I wanted to say, I came here to say thank you. I know it must have been hard for you, very hard for you, but I have to tell you that I was saying the truth when I said I prayed for you to come and save me." Esme leant over to Bella and enclosed her in one of her perfect motherly hugs.

"I mean it Carlisle, Esme, I want to say thank you and I love you both so much, you gave me back a family and my life so to speak" Carlisle nodded too afraid to speak since his voice would betray him.

"But I also have one more thing to discuss with you, and its about Edward," Esme looked at Carlisle and he then edged Bella to continue.

"I know Edward never wanted me, I understand that now and I have accepted it, but one thing I have to say is that I understand that this is his family and I am the outsider, if he returns I will leave" Carlisle and Esme were shaking their heads furiously,

"NO Bella you can't go sweetheart you belong here with us, with all of us" Esme held onto Bella even tighter than before.

"I wish that were true Esme, I truly do, but this is Edward's family and I understand now what I have to do and I just have one request" Esme was panicking and looking back and forth between Carlisle and Bella. Carlisle looked at Bella and asked,

"What is it dear?"  
"I want you to train me to be on my own. I realised that I don't know what to do without all of you, I don't know how to behave or what to do, so I would like you to train me Carlisle, please" Esme was having a fit, she was holding Bella and telling Carlisle to tell her she didn't have to leave, she completely broke down and then sobbed. Bella held her tight but wouldn't take her eyes off Carlisle's face. Carlisle wouldn't say anything then he just stood up from his chair, slowly walked over to Esme and pried her from Bella's body and turned to take his wife out of the room. He turned around once he reached the door and said, "training begins tomorrow Bella" Bella nodded but all she could hear was Esme screaming at him until their bedroom door closed.

Bella got up to leave, she didn't want to hear their conversation so she went for a run. Running was absolutely exhilarating to her. She had never had so much coordination when she was human and now to have such precise movements made her so happy. She admired her new body, she looked beautiful, she laughed at that thought, who would have ever thought that Bella Swan would think she was beautiful. Maybe, just maybe, Edward would want her now. No!!! those thoughts had to stay away from her mind, it was too painful. She could not set herself up for that pain again. His time it surely would kill her. He made it clear to her all those years ago, that he didn't want her and nothing had changed. She caught a whiff of a mountain lion up ahead and took off full speed to intercept. She caught the lion easily and finished her prey off cleanly. This was getting easier, she might have to take Emmett up on his offer to tackle a grizzly, at least that would be challenging.

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Hi everyone, that's it for Chapter 3 hope you enjoyed it. Don't worry our favourite vampire will be making his entrance soon.... Thanks for all those people who have added me to their story alerts and favourites, I love you all ;-) Please review if you want too !!!

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hi again, **

**here is Chapter 4 of my story hope you all enjoy it. Edward finally makes his appearance...**

**Disclaimer: Still not the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, just love her characters.**

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**Chapter 4**

As she ran back, to her home for now, she thought about her conversation with Carlisle. It worried her greatly that Esme was hurting, she loved her like her mother. She still sat and read Wuthering heights to her some nights, when the memories were too bad. That would be the hardest, leaving Esme and Alice, they had become even closer now than ever before. They spent many hours talking and Bella was helping set up Alice's boutique, they had decided it would be better to open the shop in Seattle so Bella could come and help and not be easily recognised.

BPOV

The following day Carlisle had kept his word and the training started. First was a wrestle with Jasper, this was exceptionally hard as he kept making me feel calm and I didn't want to attack, we all ended up laughing. I managed to block out most of Jaspers power and he was so shocked I took him down before he knew what hit him. Carlisle was intrigued about this new development in my powers, but I brushed it off. The hardest was still to come, I had to fight Alice, she moved like lightening and before I knew what happened she was on my back, she kissed my neck every time she won. It was very frustrating but Jasper and Alice loved it and were having a ball. Rosie and Emmett came back from work and decided to join in. Rosie was ruthless, she had amazing power for a woman, I couldn't hold her down for long, and we ended up being even, she won three sets and I won three. Then after we had a break for a while it was Emmett's turn. The man IS a grizzly. He was enormous, you would think being so big that he wouldn't move so fast, but the man was a tank, after quite a few try's I finally beat him. He wasn't happy but he wasn't angry either. Alice was the only one who got the better of me, she was the only one who won all the sets.

Fighting Emmett was exhilarating though and we continued to practise every day for months. Emmett loved teasing me about it though. He was sitting in the lounge room one day playing X Box and I snuck into the lounge room and watched him play. He was so engrossed in the game that this was going to be too easy. I walked along the wall away from the window so he wouldn't catch my scent, I was so close to him and he still hadn't budged then I pounced so quickly he had no idea that I bowled him over.

"Shit what is going on" Emmett cursed so loudly Esme chastised him from upstairs.

"Ha ha I got ya, I win, I beat Emmett, ha ha" I sang my little song in his ear while I placed kisses on his neck. We always did this because one time Rosie and Emmett had a wrestle and she pretended to bite his neck and what followed was something we would all rather forget so since kisses were less of a turn on for Emmett than biting, we stuck to the safe avenue. He struggled to get me off his back, he tried to turn but each time I curled more into him and he couldn't escape.

"Say it, big brother, say the words" I whispered in his ear

"NO way little squirt I will not loose to you"  
"Come one Emmett, I beat you fair and square" I was still holding tight when Rose walked in and shouted over the roar of Emmett's growl.

"Give up Emm, she beat you fair and square" Rose walked through to the library, not really giving us a second look, this was becoming a habit these days. I tried to get Rosie one day but she floored me in two seconds so after a few more attempts I gave up after that and called her the reigning champ so she was happy with that.

"Emmett what do you have to say?" I still tried to get him to give in

"OK you little monkey, you win. Bella is the champ"

"Woo hoo I win again, I am the champion, I am the champion" I danced around the lounge room singing my little song.

"Bella its not lady like to gloat dear" Esme's voice floated down the stairs

"Yes Esme" Emmett stuck his tongue out and I pounced on him again,

"Mum she's doing it again" Emmett stuck his tongue out again.

"Don't grovel you big sook" I pushed his head away and he lost his balance on the floor and toppled over. I cracked up laughing and then Alice walked in.

"Got beat again Emmett, man you are losing your touch" Alice laughed at his face and then I got up to join Alice to see what new clothes had arrived today. These games were fun and I thoroughly enjoyed catching the boys off guard, Jasper was too easy. I had learnt to block his power and then turn it on him, it was so funny watching his confused face. We told Carlisle about it but since it didn't work on Alice and we had no one else to try it on to test our theory we couldn't really say it was a power. It seemed that I had a shield power as I could shield myself to people's powers but I could also turn it on them and use their own power against them.

It had been six months since I was changed over, my training was coming along really well. Most days I forgot why I was doing it, it was just fun to hang out with my brothers and sisters. I was happy, really happy. It had been so long that I could actually say that. I still had my times where Edward's memories would haunt me but my family stayed with me during the harder times and let me get it all out of my system. They were truly wonderful. Some nights Esme had to sit with me as I couldn't be alone and she spent most of the night hugging me and talking me through it. It felt good to have that support, I loved this family dearly.

My eyes had already reached their golden brown colour. Carlisle thought it may have to do with the fact that human blood made me sick. Today I was just chilling out watching Romeo and Juliet on DVD. Alice was at work and so were Carlisle and Esme. Jasper was picking up some orders for Rosie as she was flat out at the workshop. Emmett had the day off but he was outside working on the Jeep in the garage. I had the house to myself so I relaxed with my movie. There was a strong breeze blowing through the house, it was coming from the front of the house through the huge glass doors out the back, I could smell Emmett outside with his Jeep so I put up my shield and relaxed. I wanted to get into my movie without any interruptions. It was half way through and I couldn't get Edward out of my mind. The last time I watched this I was with him at my home, it was such a strong emotion I could swear that I could smell him.

"What the hell is going on here" A voice boomed through me and I jumped up into my attack position. I pulled back when I saw my angel standing in front of me. He had jumped in through the back door and since I had my shield up I didn't catch his scent till it was too late. He looked worse than I did when I arrived. He was looking at me like I was a stranger, maybe he was angrier with me than I originally thought. I relaxed my stance but realised I couldn't do this alone and I couldn't speak to him, I felt like I was dying all over again.

"EMMETT, HELP ME" I screamed and Edward's face showed confusion and something else, maybe it was hurt.

"Bella, what is going on here and who changed.... ?" Before Edward could finish Emmett had ran in and collected me in his arms. I curled into his body and whispered in his ear, "Emmett I can't do this now, I can't do it, please get me out of here"

"Bella I CAN hear you, what is going on here? Emmett put her down" Edward's voice was strained and you could hear the anger boiling up. He was getting annoyed and looked like he was going to hit Emmett. My phone rang and I reached into my pocket and saw it was from Alice.

"Hello Bella, listen to me it will be OK, he won't go off his nut OK, just stay with Emmett, I am on my way, sweetie" I mumbled OK and hung up, I let Emmett put me down but he kept his huge arm around my shoulders. He wasn't going to leave me alone or let me do this on my own.

"Bella I think you have some explaining to do" I looked at him and all I wanted to do was run over to him and kiss him but I couldn't do that, no, he didn't feel that way about me. He didn't feel that way four and a half years ago why would he feel like it now. I turned into Emmett's body and gathered my strength from him.

"Bro listen to me, she will talk to you but not now OK, she's scared" Edward snapped

"Scared, scared, what the frigging hell have you done to her?" I could feel Edward's eyes on my back and I knew I should face him but I couldn't. I couldn't take that rejection again, I couldn't hurt like that again.

I knew I was being stupid, I knew this day would come. What am I doing now, I am just making this harder than it has to be. I found my resolve and let go of Emmett and turned around to face the only man I would ever love throughout my mortal and immortal life.

"Edward, I am sorry, I don't know what to say to you but I will get my things and leave," I tried to walk away from Emmett, but he caught me around my waist and held me tight. He knew I could take him if I wanted to but I wasn't in the mood today, not after this. The one wish and the one nightmare I had ever had was right here in front of me now.

"Emmett, would you get your hands off her" I was shocked that Edward had said this, what did he think I was for heavens sake, Emmett was married to Rosie. I could only imagine what was going through Emmett's head though since he was very protective of me as his 'baby sister'. Maybe Edward was misinterpreting those emotions and thoughts plus of course he couldn't read my mind. At least I hope he still couldn't. Edward was pinching the bridge of his nose with his two fingers and had his eyes closed. I looked at Emmett and nodded, he let me go. As I started to walk away, Rosie bolted through the front door and her eyes were blazing, I was actually scared of my big sister at that moment.

"Emmett get her away from him" Rosie stood in her attack position.

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Hi guys that's it for Chapter 4, hope you like it. Poor Edward has to go through some grief before it gets good...

Please review if you want to.

Also a heartfelt thanks to all those people who are reading my story, you guys are awesome.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi Everyone, here is Chapter 5, sorry for one naughty word in here. Hope no one is offended._

_I just thought Edward would be angry enough to say it this time. Anyway I hope you enjoy it. Probably only one more chapter I think._

**Chapter 5**

_As I started to walk away, Rosie bolted through the front door and her eyes were blazing, I was actually scared of my big sister at that moment._

"_**Emmett get her away from him" Rosie stood in her attack position.**_

I was trying to let Emmett know this wasn't necessary, he just needed some answers.

"Rosie stay out of this and what is YOUR fucking husband doing with his hands all over my.... all over Bella?"

"You shut your mouth Edward, you have no idea what has happened to this family and you have no idea what we have all been through" Rosie had relaxed her stance but she was still standing between us.

"Edward mate, It's not like that, if you would just let us explain..." Emmett was cut off,

"Well I would like some answers, like Who. Changed. Her?"

"I did" Carlisle had obviously received a call from Alice and rushed home. I don't know why but I ran to Carlisle's arms and hugged him, saying sorry over and over again.

"Bella sweetheart, go to your room and stay there, you will be fine. Emmett, here take her" He passed me over to Emmett, Emmett picked me up effortlessly and started to walk over to the stairs.

"Carlisle what happened, why did you go against my wishes and change her, what were you thinking?" Edward was yelling and furious. There was no doubt about it. I told Emmett to wait as I think I needed to say my piece.

"He saved my life Edward" Edward spun around and looked at me. He had a hundred emotions running over his face. Esme, Alice and Jasper walked in and the calming atmosphere came in with Jasper. He walked straight over to me and held my hand.

"Bella try please sweetie, you can do this" Jasper was whispering to me. I tried really hard to remain calm and amplify Jaspers emotions.

"What is going on, what do you mean 'saved your life'?" I took Jasper's hand and also held Emmett and walked into the dining room where we always sat to have family talks. Esme ushered everyone into the room. Emmett and Jasper had my sides while Alice stood behind me, I felt bad since Rosie sat next to Emmett meant Edward was all alone. I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, the urge was so overwhelming.

"Bella No" Jasper looked at me, obviously knowing what I wanted to do. Edward looked at Jasper and was trying to read his mind to see what I wanted to do. His face relaxed slightly and then he turned to look at Carlisle so he would begin.

"Bella do you wish to tell Edward your story or do I have permission to tell it?" I chanced a look at Edward but my resolve crumbled and I shook my head, Carlisle knew what I meant.

The next hour was spent explaining to Edward how I managed to become a vampire. It was so hard listening to the story of my weakest, most darkest time in my life. It strengthened my decision to be strong and say good bye to these people I have loved for what seems like forever. I'll always love them, but I know what I have to do. They had done everything to help me and make me part of their family. Jasper turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes "No rash decisions little sister". I nodded even though I already knew what I had to do. There was absolutely no possible way I could live in this house and see Edward everyday and not be able to hold him or love him like I needed to. He was now my personal drug, my own brand of heroin. While the story went on I watched Edward's face, he hardly changed his expression. Of course he wouldn't, he didn't want me I was just a nuisance to him, some stupid little pain that would never go away now.

"Bella stop it" Jasper was getting frustrated with me, I let go of his hand so I wouldn't transfer my feelings to him. He wasn't going to have that, he needed the amplification of his power through me.

"Jasper is everything OK?" Carlisle asked

"Yes Carlisle, Bella needs to control her emotions, we practised this Bella, you can do it" I nodded like a little girl who just got caught with the stolen cookie jar. I looked at Edward and his face was unreadable.

"I don't understand how all this could have happened Bella, Why did you do those things to yourself?" Edward was angry, he was definitely angry.

"Because you are a complete arse hole that's why. We told you we didn't want to leave, we told you she wouldn't be OK without all of us, but nooooo, we all had to listen to his high almighty dick" Rosie was furious, I was surprised she took so long to say anything. Esme scolded her for her language, and Rosie sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. Edward didn't say anything for quite a while. I stood up and looked around the table, I looked at the family I loved with everything I had and I knew the day I would have to say goodbye to them was here now.

"I am sorry everyone, you know we talked about this, you all know what has to happen now, please understand I love you more than anything in this whole world. You saved me from... well me, and that was a brave, brave thing to do" I looked in Carlisle's eyes when I said this.

"I love you my brothers, you have both been everything I have ever wanted in a brother" Jasper nodded and Emmett brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my hand gently. "Rosie, Alice, I love you two more than my own life, you both know that"

"I am NOT saying goodbye to you again Bella, you know where I stand with this" Rosie was standing firm with her decision. I just nodded to her. Alice wouldn't say anything to me so I took it that she couldn't voice her feelings right now.

"Esme, I can't say goodbye to you, you are my mum in every sense of the word and I love you so much that this is breaking my heart" I started to sob but it was nothing compared to the heart breaking cry that came from Esme, she turned to Carlisle "Do something, I can't lose her again" "I am sorry Esme but this is Bella's choice" Carlisle's head hung low when he said this. I found every tiny ounce of bravery in my body and turned to look at Edward.

"Edward, I am sorry this hasn't gone the way you wanted. I know I was supposed to go away and leave you to live your immortal life with peace." His face was contorted with my speech, but he was probably embarrassed that I was airing my feelings with his whole family here. Alice reached down and touched my shoulder for support. At this point, Edward's face changed from being angry to thinking and then realisation. It was like he just found out some interesting news.

"I told my family, your family, that when you returned it would be time for me to leave" There was a snort that came from Rosie's direction. "I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable with me being here, I know I have bothered you enough. I will empty my things from your room and I will go."

"Where?"

"I can look after myself, I have been training for 6 months now and Emmett, Jaz and Carlisle are wonderful teachers" I smiled at them

"How long have you been a vampire?" He seemed agitated when he said this,

"6 months now"

"Why are your eyes already gold?"

"Edward I really don't see what that has to do with anything"

"Well I don't think it will be safe putting a new born out there without anyone to guide her" he raised his eyebrow at Carlisle, I was getting extremely annoyed and I snapped.

"Well excuse me Edward, but I don't need anyone's help at all, my brothers and father have trained me very well thank you very much, without any help from you. So if I were you I would shut my mouth and don't criticise things that happened when you were off doing god knows what with god knows who" Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder, but I was so pumped the emotions flowed back the wrong way,

"Bella you're not helping me"

"Sorry Jaz, he just makes me so mad"

"That may be so but you didn't answer me, where will you go?"

"Edward, anywhere away from you" I moved away from the table and flew upstairs to his room. I hadn't wanted his room at first as it was too hard being in here with his smell around me but then I found it to be comforting. Esme would read to me in here while I relaxed and inhaled his essence. I packed a few of my clothes (thanks to Alice, of course) and my few belongings that I had accumulated while I had been here. I picked up a photo of me and my siblings all wrestling in the front yard, Carlisle had seen us tackling and snapped the photo. We all laughed so hard that he snapped the next one, which is the one I had where all of us were laughing and looking into the camera. I sat down on the bed, and held the photo close to me. If my heart was still beating it would have stopped anyway. I didn't hear him walk in and it wasn't until I caught his scent that I looked over to him.

"It's OK you don't need to leave, I will go"

"No Edward, your family needs you, Esme has been lost without you here. I have to move on anyway, its ok I will still see Esme, Alice and all the others, I can't live without them in my life"

"You look beautiful" I stared at him,

"Excuse me"

"I said you are beautiful" could I dare to hope, could I possibly have been wrong. No not wrong and not hopeful.

"Sorry Edward, I need to finish packing I will be out of your room and out of your life in a few minutes." He walked over to me and his eyes were burning with something I thought I had seen before. He came closer until he was standing right in front of me and he lifted his hand to cup my face. I leant into it without realising I had done it. Edward took this is a good sign and leant in to ever so slowly touch his lips to mine. I couldn't move even if I had been willed to by God. I was frozen to this moment in time. I felt his lips against mine but I couldn't react so I just stood there like a zombie. Every emotion I had suffered over these past five years was starting to play over in my mind. Edward must have thought I didn't want him as his hand fell and he started to pull back from my mouth. I reacted quicker than even I thought was possible. My hands were in his hair holding his face to mine. I pushed my body into his so eager to feel every part of him that I could. The kiss intensified and I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I wasn't thinking, I was just feeling for once. Then reality struck me like a cold slap to the face. What was I doing. I was setting myself up for more heart break. I flew back from him like he was a striking hot iron. He stood staring at me and I panicked.

"Oh My God what did I do?" I turned and flew out of the window so fast Edward didn't realise I was gone until a few seconds later.

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_That's it, what did you think? About time our favourite vampire came back isn't it? Please review and let me know how I am going... thanks again to all those people who are reading my story, you guys are wonderful._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hi there, up to Chapter 6 actually I thought this was the last one but there's one more... Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for the reviews.**_

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**Chapter 6**

"_Oh My God what did I do?" I turned and flew out of the window so fast Edward didn't realise I was gone until a few seconds later. _

That was all the head start I needed. I ran faster than I had ever run before. I flew up the mountain and over the ranges and I didn't stop until I was sure Edward hadn't followed. I must have run for miles. If I didn't need my breath I am sure I would have run out long before now. I slowed down once I reached the river and fell to the ground. I listened carefully but I could hear nothing out of the ordinary, just a few wild animals grazing further ahead. I would deal with them later.

I couldn't believe I kissed him, how could I be so stupid. All these years knowing that he hated me and I acted like a complete and utter .... "IDIOT" I screamed out my new label because I knew it would only sink in if I said it out loud. I fell back on the grass so I was lying in the sun. Why was I so stupid to do that to myself. "WHY?" I felt stupid screaming at myself but I was so angry nothing would help me at this moment. I laid there and started to cry, a tearless cry but I cried for my pain, I cried for the loss of Charlie and Renee and I cried for the loss of my new family, but mostly I cried for myself. I couldn't stop crying it had taken so much out of me and I didn't believe I would ever get through this. If I wasn't immortal I would surely be dead by now, dead from a broken heart. I felt so much pain and anxiety inside of me I yelled yet again, into the silent forest that could not help me any more."Sorry Carlisle you can't fix me any more"

"I hate you Edward Cullen I hate you", I sobbed, I couldn't even bring myself to scream out in rage any more. I was broken, lost and broken, I laid my arm across my face and waited until the night would take me away.

"I hope you don't mean that?" Edward's velvet voice echoed through the small clearing by the river where I had collapsed. I tried to will my body to get up and run since it hadn't taken him long to find me. Surely if I ran faster he wouldn't catch me again. But in all honesty, I had nothing left, nothing at all, my spirit was broken.

"Edward go away, just let me die please"

"You can't die Silly Bella, you're already dead" Edward had a smirk on his face and if I wasn't so spent I would have hit him, still might be a good idea though...

"Well go away and let me finish what I started so long ago. Edward just walk away, you did it once I am sure you can do it again" I knew that was hitting below the belt, but I really couldn't care if he was hurt because nothing compared to the pain I was feeling and had felt thanks to Edward Cullen.

"Bella, we need to talk about that" Edward laid down on the ground next to me.

"NO Edward, I can't talk to you anymore, I can't talk about this anymore, I can't talk......... about pain anymore" I ended with a whisper because I knew I couldn't hold my voice together. He touched my arm so I would pull it away from my face and now he could see the stress I was under and he knew that it wasn't going to be easy to fix his.

EPOV _(finally)_

I ran through the forest at an incredible speed, even for me. It had taken me a good 20 seconds to realise she had gone out the window, unfortunately she would have a good lead but I wasn't giving up. When I came in and saw her on the lounge, looking so beautiful, so perfect and so DEAD, I freaked. I couldn't believe they would go behind my back.

Never in a million years would I have thought Carlisle did it to save her and not just kill her. I am so stupid, I should have realised. But then when the first words out of her beautiful mouth were Emmett, I felt like I was losing it. She looked so tiny in his huge arms and so helpless. It should have been me comforting her and protecting her, not my brother, not my married brother at that. I scanned his thoughts and realised his only held pure thoughts for her and I was sorry I overacted. When everyone sat down to talk, Alice was doing a good job at blocking me from seeing her thoughts. Only letting through some of the most intense ones of her change. I knew she knew something else because she was too quiet and she was doing an exceptional job of blocking me. Very unlike my pixie sister. I couldn't get through her barrier, so I scanned everyone else's mind.

Rose was furious with me and I could feel the energy waves coming off her. Emmett and Jasper were impossible to read especially since they were holding her hand. I couldn't read them at all, they were as silent to me as she had always been. Esme was completely distraught and I couldn't make sense of anything she was thinking.

I listened to Carlisle tell me about Bella and all the things that had happened to her since I left. I was feeling such guilt and pain that I couldn't explain it. I thought that I had lost her again but this time forever. Then everything changed in a single split second. Bella turned to talk to me. The first thing she had said to me directly since I got back and Alice touched her shoulder to support her. It was at this time Alice let her guard slip. I only caught a split second of the image but I knew what it was and I knew Bella would be mine forever.

Now I had to find her and convince her that I loved her still. I followed her unique scent through the forest. Luckily she had returned my kiss because it had intensified her scent on me and made it easier to follow as well as giving me even more hope. I found her laying near a river quite a fair way from our home. I knew she was still a new born and it was normal but I couldn't help but feel proud of my Bella. I watched her as she sobbed, I was just about to go to her when I heard her scream out 'idiot'. I wasn't sure if she meant me so I stepped back and waited. 'Why' followed her scream and then more sobs and it wasn't until she spoke so clearly that she hated me that I snapped back to reality. I walked silently over to her and watched as she laid down with her arm folded over her face. I really wanted to see her face actually I needed to see her face.

"I hope you don't mean that" _please don't mean it Bella please please please don't mean it. _I thought she would run but I was ready to grab her if she did. She didn't though she just laid there sad and broken. Never did I want to see my Bella broken again, and I was doing it to her again. Did I ever learn? She told me to leave her and let her die. I tried to see if she would have a laugh but she didn't instead she hit me where it hurt, she hit below the belt. She threw it back in my face, that I left her so many years ago.

"Bella we need to talk about that" I hoped she would let me have the chance to explain, I had to believe she would. I had to have faith in my sister's vision, Alice had never let me down before. I touched her arm and hoped she would let me see her beautiful face. I looked at her and knew I had to fix this, she had to know how I felt and the only way I could do that was to show her what she meant to me. I leant down until I was hovering above her face. I waited, hoping she would give me permission to continue.

The hardest thing was she didn't pull away, she didn't take my face in her delicate, beautiful hands, no she just laid there like the broken spirit she was. It tore me up inside and my urgency to show Bella how much I loved her came out in a rush. I leant down and pressed my lips into hers, I waited for a reaction like the one back in my room, but, it didn't come. I was defeated, I had lost her. I couldn't fix what I had broken so long ago.

How stupid was I to believe she would think everything would be fine when I came back. I pulled back from her face and put a tendril of hair behind her ear. I looked at the rest of her hair and started clearing out the leaves that had tangled their way into her beautiful hair. I lifted it up and smelt it one more time. I inhaled deeply and let the pain of loss come over me once again.

"Bella I am sorry, obviously you don't want me anymore and I completely understand. I am sorry I exposed you to all of this and now you have to endure the curse we have."

I took her tiny hands in mine and kissed them both and laid them back on her stomach where they were resting before. I looked into her eyes and she was looking at me with such desperation, it tore me up inside.

"Bella I look into your eyes, and I still see those beautiful eyes you had before I came and ruined your life. I look at your hair and it still feels as soft to me as it did the day I first touched it. I look at your hands and remember the day you placed them against my chest. I look at your mouth and I see your cries of pain when I said goodbye to you, then I look at your eyes again and see the pain I put there. Nothing will ever erase that look, I am sorry. I will be forever sorry and I just hope one day you can forgive me and remember the good times we did have" I looked into her eyes and kissed them both, I kissed her nose and then kissed her lips so gently. I had my hand over her stomach and around her waist and tightened my hold on her as I kissed her. I knew this would be the last time so I had to relish every last second I had with my beautiful Bella. I didn't deepen the kiss, I wanted it to be sweet, like she was to me. I was about to pull away when I felt her tiny hand touch my arm. I couldn't help myself so I pulled back so I could see her eyes.

"Did you ever love me Edward?" Her voice was so quiet I would have missed it if I were human.

"Bella I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in all my one hundred years, I loved you before and I still love you now"

"But you said you didn't, you said you lied to me" Bella's eyes showed the depth of her pain

"Bella I had to lie, I thought it was for your own safety and I never would have thought that leaving you could have created the abyss I felt in my soul everyday I was away from you" I hoped she would understand why I did it.

"Edward I tried, I really tried to live without you but when you left, you took my soul with you and I couldn't live like that. I wanted to die. That was my only escape. I am sorry you had to come back to this, this broken piece of whatever I am" I couldn't believe she was apologising to me.

"Bella you have nothing to apologise for, I am sorry I should have never left you. But I did believe you were better off without me. I can see I was wrong and I hope one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me" My head had dropped down to lay on her stomach and then I felt her hands in my hair. I took a deep breath and stilled my body's reaction to her. I didn't want to blow it by scaring her now. She continued to run her fingers through my hair and I wished this moment would never end.

"Edward do you love someone else?" I jumped up and looked her in the eyes. How could she even think that, it was absurd.

"What Bella?" It was the only sentence my brain could spit out.

"I understand you know, its been a long time and I .... I just wanted to know" She wouldn't look into my eyes, so I placed my fingers under her chin and turned her face to look into mine.

"Bella Swan, I love you now and forever. There has never been anyone else nor would there ever be anyone else" I hoped she could see the sincerity in my eyes. She just looked at me and I really felt I had lost her therefore I had nothing to live for now. Then by some small miracle she smiled, just a small smile but a smile all the same. I felt bolder and leant in to capture those beautiful lips once more.

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Ok guys what do you think???

Only one more chapter to go, please review ;-)


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_She just looked at me and I really felt I had lost her therefore I had nothing to live for now. Then by some small miracle she smiled, just a small smile but a smile all the same. I felt bolder and leant in to capture those beautiful lips once more._

Bella POV

I listened to everything he had said. I tried to tell myself that he was only saying it, but really why would he. I looked into his eyes and saw the truth there. He could never lie to me through his eyes, they always told me the truth. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I did misunderstand his intentions almost five years ago. Maybe it was time to let go of the past and finally live. He leant in to kiss me and I decided I would let him know how much I loved him and wanted him. He pressed his lips gently to mine and I slowly lifted my hand to feel his golden bronze hair. I let the strands run through my fingers while I let myself feel. It was wonderful to really be alive again.

The kisses continued on until we both couldn't control our want for each other. We made love for the first time, by the stream. It was wonderful and everything I had ever dreamed it would be. We spent hours exploring our bodies and joining them together forever. It was getting close to twilight and we were sitting silently watching the water run freely over the rocks.

"What are you thinking Bella?" Edward was sitting with his back against a huge bolder and I was sitting in between his outstretched legs. I turned to look into his eyes

"You"

"That's very vague Miss Swan" He laughed into my hair.

"Well I was just thinking how lucky I am" I turned back to face the river and continued tracing patterns on his arms.

"How lucky you are, I think I am the lucky one. To think I could have lost you forever will always haunt me Bella" Edward tightened his grip around me. It was nice to be able to be held without him fearing he would crush my fragile human body.

"Edward, you never lost me, I always loved you and I always hoped, even in the darker times, I still hoped"

"Bella I will always regret my decision to leave you but you must understand I love you now and I loved you then."

"Edward you know what, lets not talk about the past, I want to move on with you. Is that OK?" I still felt apprehensive, but after we made love I knew we would be together forever. Edward nodded and kissed my neck.

"Can I ask you one question Edward?"

""Of course you can, anything my love"

"When we were at home... I mean your home"

"Our home Bella, you're not going anywhere without me"

"Ok our home, when I was talking to everyone, you seemed to realise something and your expression changed. What happened?" Edward looked forward and looked like he was contemplating telling me. This peaked my interest even more. He still held me in his arms and then whispered, "Promise you won't get mad....." I turned in his arms and faced him, waiting. I was starting to feel a little worried, could my dream be ending as quickly as it started.

"I caught a glimpse of an image in Alice's mind" Edward looked a little guilty but it wasn't a bad guilt.

"Well what was it?"

"I would rather not say" Edward looked at me with a grimace on his face and he knew I wouldn't let it go. I decided I could run back to Alice and ask her and he probably wouldn't catch me before I got to her. I thought about it for a second more before my thoughts were interrupted.

"Bella, what are you planning, you are not going to ask her. I promise I will tell you when I get back but there's something I need to do first" Edward looked sincere so I thought I would give him till tomorrow.

"OK but you know I will not let this go"

"Yes Bella I know you won't" Edward laughed and then stood up to walk home.

"Hey Edward it's twilight" I looked towards the sunset and couldn't understand why he always hated this time of the day. I had grown to love it.

"Yeah so it is, maybe it isn't such a bad time of the day anymore" Edward looked down at me and held me closer. We slowly made it back to 'our home' which I was glad that I didn't have to leave. I loved these people more than life itself. We walked inside and the house was empty and that was odd actually. Edward guided me upstairs to his room and sat me on his bed which had been mine for sometime now. I was wondering what he was up to. He was searching through his dresser and then slowly closed the drawer. He turned and walked over to me. He kneeled in front of me and was extremely nervous. He looked up and his eyes were swimming with so much emotion I gasped

"Bella I can not possibly explain to you how much you mean to me. I have waited so long for you and because of a stupid action on my behalf I almost lost you" I went to interrupt but he placed his finger on my lips.

"Bella if it takes all of eternity I will show you how much I love you. I just need to know that you will give me a chance to show that to you. So what I am trying to ask is..... Will you Bella Swan marry me?" My hand flew to my mouth and I was shocked into silence. I sat there staring at him like an idiot. I couldn't formulate a coherent thought as the only words that ran through my brain was marry me, marry me, marry me. Then as I watched Edward's face fall. I realised I must have taken longer than I thought.

"Edward I just need you to understand something" Edward looked like he was going to die, if he could of course.

"You hurt me more than anyone ever possibly could and it will take time for me to heal but I love you more than anything and I am sick of wasting precious time, even though we now have forever, so my answer is Yes, as long as you can give up with me for all eternity" Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black ring box. My hand flew to my mouth again, how long had he been planning this? He opened the lid and inside I saw the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in my life. It was a gold diamond ring with a tear drop shaped diamond in the centre and had smaller diamonds surrounding it.

"I understand what you are saying Bella, I truly do. Just give me a chance to show you forever how much I love you"

"If you don't like it I can buy you one of your choice" Edward looked at me since I was still sitting with my hand over my mouth.

"Edward I love it more than anything in the world, how long have you had it?" I reached out to touch it, but Edward was taking it out of the box and was holding my left hand. He gently placed the ring on my third finger and as he slid it on he said

"It was my mum's ring, my father gave it to the love of his life as I do today"

"I knew if I could I would have had tears in my eyes and I hugged Edward so tightly I thought he would break. We sealed our love with an amazing kiss. We continued our kisses until we were both panting and then sealed our love eternally. We got up a few hours later and dressed slowly. I wondered where everyone was as I couldn't wait to tell them the news.

"I can't wait to see Alice and Rose and tell them the good news" I was looking at my ring for the hundredth time that night.

"I suppose I can tell you what I saw in Alice's mind yesterday now" Edward was leaning against the door looking sexy as hell.

"Well" I raised my eyebrow.

" I saw us getting married. I saw you in a beautiful white dress walking down the aisle and I knew straight away I hadn't lost you yet" Edward had a smirk on his face so I decided to play with him.

"Well Mr Cullen, did you see yourself in that vision or was it just me?"

"No it was just you, looking as beautiful as a bride could be for me"

"Well Mr Cullen, how do you know you were the groom?" Edward had a look of fear cross his face, he obviously hadn't thought of that. He saw Alice's vision and presumed it was him, he felt a slight panic start to build inside him.

"Bella.."

"Edward, don't be ridiculous I was only playing with you, who else would I marry when I love you with all my heart" I walked up to him and hugged him tightly.

"Let's go Edward, I want to show everyone my ring and tell Alice she has a wedding to plan"

From down stairs we heard the excited screams of our little pixie sister and knew our family was waiting for us.

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_(Tears) All done, all finished. What did you guys think, hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think!!_

_Keep on the lookout for more stories, and I will also be posting some of my Harry Potter ones, so if you like those too, have a read and let me know what you think._

_Again a huge thank you for all your comments and for saving my story as your favourite. I appreciate it immensely. _


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